Ten Tips for Divorcing Parents
Divorce is never easy on kids, but there are many ways parents can help lessen the impact of their break-up on their children.
1. Never criticize your former spouse in front of your children. Because children know they are “part mom” and “part dad”, the criticism can batter the child’s self esteem.
2. Do not use your children as messengers between you and your former spouse. The less the children feel a part of the battle between their parents, the better.
3. Reassure your children that they are loved and that the divorce is not their fault. Many children assume that they are to blame for their parents hostility.
4. Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently. Do everything within your power to accommodate the visitation.
5. At ever step during your divorce, remind yourself that your children’s interests – not yours – are paramount, and act accordingly. Lavish them with love at each opportunity.
6. Your children may be tempted to act as your caretaker. Resist the temptation to let them. Let your peers, adult family members, and mental health professionals be your counselors and sounding board. Let your children be the children.
7. If you have a drinking or drug problem, get counseling right away. An impairment inhibits your ability to reassure your children and give them the attention they need at this difficult time.
8. If you are the non-custodial parent, pay your child support. The loss of income facing many children after the divorce puts them at a financial disadvantage that has a pervasive effect on the rest of their lives.
9. If you are the custodial parent and you are not receiving child support, do not tell your children. It feeds into the child’s sense of abandonment and further erodes his or her stability.
10. If at all possible, do not uproot your children. Stability in their residence and school life helps buffer children from the trauma of their parents divorce.
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Wish we have known about the spot on TV
We missed it wondering if we could get a tape of it?
Question: What should the other parent do when the father
forces the child to meet the girl friend, when the child doesn’t
want to meet the lady?
I know that in the divorce classes we took they suggest 4-6 months of dating before introducing the children to a boyfriend/girlfriend. Then they say just tell the kids it’s your friend and they will most likely understand. The point is, don’t get into too much information with them. The father probably should not have introduced the lady as his “girlfriend”, depending on how old the child is, this probably sounded scary to them. I’m just a dad, no expert.
I don’t think there is anything you can do unless there are particular problems with the introduction. Just pray that your former spouse uses better judgement and thinks about your child next time