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Ten Tips for Divorcing Parents

janice — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 20:23:29 +0000

Divorce is never easy on kids, but there are many ways parents can help lessen the impact of their break-up on their children.

1. Never criticize your former spouse in front of your children. Because children know they are “part mom” and “part dad”, the criticism can batter the child’s self esteem.

2. Do not use your children as messengers between you and your former spouse. The less the children feel a part of the battle between their parents, the better.

3. Reassure your children that they are loved and that the divorce is not their fault. Many children assume that they are to blame for their parents hostility.

4. Encourage your children to see your former spouse frequently. Do everything within your power to accommodate the visitation.

5. At ever step during your divorce, remind yourself that your children’s interests – not yours – are paramount, and act accordingly. Lavish them with love at each opportunity.

6. Your children may be tempted to act as your caretaker. Resist the temptation to let them. Let your peers, adult family members, and mental health professionals be your counselors and sounding board. Let your children be the children.

7. If you have a drinking or drug problem, get counseling right away. An impairment inhibits your ability to reassure your children and give them the attention they need at this difficult time.

8. If you are the non-custodial parent, pay your child support. The loss of income facing many children after the divorce puts them at a financial disadvantage that has a pervasive effect on the rest of their lives.

9. If you are the custodial parent and you are not receiving child support, do not tell your children. It feeds into the child’s sense of abandonment and further erodes his or her stability.

10. If at all possible, do not uproot your children. Stability in their residence and school life helps buffer children from the trauma of their parents divorce.

Let Me Help SAVE Your Marriage Too!!!

janice — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 17:33:08 +0000

I’m getting more and more calls from people asking me if I can help them and their spouse with current financial issues. These aren’t people who are seeking a divorce, these are people who are smart enough to see preliminary signs that if they don’t get advice from a financial expert who knows the implications of divorce, that their marriage too will fail due to financial problems.

I never thought of my business as one that could prevent a divorce, but after so much recent demand from married couples who are seeking help from a financial expert who has “been there, done that”, I thought hey why not? Let’s get these people in here and get them the help they need to save their marriage!!! Being a CDFA, I not only can assist in disolving a marriage, but I can also help in saving a marriage too. How exciting is that!!!

The Needs of Men and Women

janice — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 16:51:29 +0000

Men’s Needs	Women’s Needs
Sex Respect Domestic Support Attractive Spouse Admiration	Affection Conversation Financial Support Honesty Family Commitment

During courtship men spend about 13 to 14 hours a week in conversation with their girlfriend. After marriage, they spend less than two hours a week.

Do you know the needs of your spouse? Do you try to meet them? How many hours of conversation do you have each week with your spouse? What gestures do you consider a “show of affection”? Do you do them often?

If you take steps to meet your spouses needs, can your needs be met more often? Relationship skills are the most important things to learn in a marriage.